Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Ant & the Grasshopper: revisionist fable-telling

THE ANT & THE GRASSHOPPER
Here's an old allegory told in a fresh way, updated for the times we're in...

OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'

Rev. Jeremiah Wright then has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing the last bits of ant's food while the government house he's in (the ant's old house), crumbles around him for lack of care.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident.

The house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

~~~
Curtsy to my Lisa, who emailed this earlier in the week.

17 comments:

Pamela Zydel said...

Susannah, are you SURE that is a fable?

I could have sworn I heard THAT story somewhere before but with REAL people...oh yeah, it happens in Chicago, DC, the Bronx...

Z said...

At least it'll be easy to vote in 2010...anything BUT the Democrat!

Anonymous said...

I have an alternative ending. Kermit the frog eats the whiny, bitter grasshopper. Pelosi, Reid, et. al., are out of a job in 2010. CNN and Time Werner go belly up due to dried-up viewership and no advertising revenue. The United States of America begins to stand on its own two feet, taking its rightful place as a leader in the "world community", and decides upon its own destiny without the "help" the corrupt and bankrupt UN.

Hey, it could happen.

Anonymous said...

Obama getting the Nobel Peace price is so Ridiculous.

It must be in honor of Obama defending Iranians Humans rights.

Susannah said...

Pam~ Um...no, I'm not sure at all. It sounded pretty much on target to me!

Z~ Won't it be a breeze in 2010?

RWL~ I like your scenario MUCH better. We have to stand on our own two feet, though, you're right about that!

Callme~ I absolutely agree! What's it called now, the Nobel Appeasement Prize? What a political, new world order, I'm-a-citizen-of-the-world, we-like-you-but-not-enough-to-give-you-the-Olympics-sorry-we-embarassed-you JOKE!!

Anonymous said...

He just put off his conference with General McChrystal ...Don't bother him. He has to fly off to Norway this weekend to collect a million dollars. Oh, and what a great opportunity to vacation with the family while he's there. After all, his daughter said they have a 3 day weekend - no school. Only 3 days? Might as well make it 10 because we can't see much in 3.
Despicable!

BetteJo said...

Wait - somewhere Michael Moore shows up outside ants house, yelling for him to give his fair share to grasshoppers in need ...

Joe said...

I absolutely LOVED that!

cocked and loaded said...

That was great Susannah!

Susannah said...

Callme~ ditto that

BetteJo~ Michael Moore...filming all the while...

Joe~ Many thanks to Lisa!

C&L~ Super! I hope Lisa reads these comments! ;)

Unknown said...

I love it! This is great. And of cours the all the children sing,

mmm, mmm, mmmm ____ ____ ____

Innocent Smith said...

Michael Moore would definitely appreciate this. LOL. Timeless truths in this fable. Thanks for posting it and for stopping by A Voice in the Wilderness. Don't be a stranger.

Unknown said...

Dude,

This would be funny if it weren't so applicable to so many situations today.

When are you running for Senate?

The Right Look said...

To bad it's a true story all over this great country! You just had to change the species! ;)

Absolutely brilliant story telling though!

Thanks for sharing that!

-j-

Susannah said...

Grandma! Isn't it a fun way to look at things? Every now & again, you have to smile...

Robert J.~ Michael Moore! Yes, well he would be the one digging (with the grasshopper) through the trash at the end...That's all the key strokes I'll give him.

Bluepit~ Senate? Ha! However...if Kay Hagen doesn't get her act together quick, she may have a run for her $$! ;)

Right Look~ Glad you're here - a good story always slaps you before you even really know it, doesn't it?

Thanks for coming by, all~

Anonymous said...

It was rather interesting for me to read the blog. Thank you for it. I like such themes and everything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read more on that blog soon.

Susannah said...

Anon~ Come on back any time!