Depth Perception

A little over a year ago, I wrote a post about a time of personal struggle. I didn't have 'answers' to why the struggling happened, & had no evidence of the 'good' that God would bring from it. But slowly, and with certainty, I'm gaining perspective on that difficult 'season' in my life. I have begun to catch glimpses of the fresh, clean growth that results from a severe pruning performed with precise and sure timing. . .

There's growth still to be gained, & depths yet to be plumbed. But there comes a time we simply must release our efforts, & let time and distance carry new perceptions into view. I realize not all the answers are at my disposal, and may never be. And that's okay, I think, somehow.

Laura Story's "Blessings," speaks with extravagant tenderness, as to why . . .



The singer/song writer's own words:

~New depth. Fresh perceptions~

Thanks be to God.

~~~

Soothing words on Forgiveness

Found this Henri Nouwen quotation in two different places recently. Maybe that's 'a sign' nudging me to share...


"Forgiving does not mean forgetting. When we forgive a person, the memory of the wound might stay with us for a long time, even throughout our lives. Sometimes we carry the memory in our bodies as a visible sign. But forgiveness changes the way we remember. It converts the curse into a blessing. When we forgive our parents for their divorce, our children for their lack of attention, our friends for their unfaithfulness in crisis, our doctors for their ill advice, we no longer have to experience ourselves as the victims of events we had no control over.

Forgiveness allows us to claim our own power and not let these events destroy us; it enables them to become events that deepen the wisdom of our hearts. Forgiveness indeed heals memories."

~~

Your thoughts?

~~~

Glorious Craft...

From the ends of the earth -- to my back porch, we all know what this is...

Could it be a message to the world, spoken in the universal?

"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of His hands.

"Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.



"There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth,
Their words to the end of the world."
~Psalm 19:1-4

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of His hands...

~~

indeed

~~~

Happy New Year!

Hi friends~

Here's hoping y'all had a safe & happy Christmas season, & are enjoying the start of a fresh year. For me, there's an uncommon sense of renewal, of 'beginning again' that the season has brought.

Maybe it's the age of our children, so engaged in the full spectrum of life: "If I didn't believe in Santa Claus before, I really believe in him now!" -- to -- "All I want is a 5x5 Rubik's cube, because the algorithms of the 3x3 are a snap." (Wha...? Really? Wow.)

Or maybe it was the fun of playing Santa; the phone calls between my husband & me, "Barbie Party Cruiser is in hand," or "Piano keyboard in the scope. Sale price verified," or "Rubik's cube secured." (Then there was the White Christmas, like something out of 'Narnia'...)

Or maybe it was the past year of exploring new activities, new people, new relationships that has ushered in a sense of rising to a plateau -- with the morning sun peeping over the horizon to greet me. Whatever the reasons, I'm grateful, because I often need time to 'gather in' & make sense of my life.

We all need a time for pause. Only then can we look back across time, admire the goodness, observe what needs attention, & resolve to press forward. Only then can we proceed with a crisp & deeper understanding of who we are, & where we're going.

Somehow though, this year's pausing & 'gathering in' was done by a Higher hand, while I tended to earthy, more prosaic tasks... then it arrived to my sensibilities like a joyous, surprising refreshment; a spontaneous, yet natural celebration of the 'full spectrum' that life offers those who are truly living. (Glory, & thanks be to God!)

I suspect, knowing myself, that more reflection is forthcoming, & I'll probably belabor it too much. But for now, I'm enjoying the plateau; this pausing, resting. It's what I needed. Considering that the One in-whose-image & by-whose-Hand I was created paused & rested too, I figure following the shadow of that Company ain't half bad.

Happy New Year, indeed.

~~~

"Sweet Remembrance of You" ~ Wm. Joseph

For a dear friend, who sweetened my life today by sharing a lovely memory of a dear one who is no longer of this earth...

...and for anyone who may be struggling with the pain of grief, the sorrow of loss this Christmas season. May this piece of music take you to a place of tender, 'sweet remembrance.'

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted,
and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18

~~~

amen.

The Cove, BGEA & the great shalom...

Hi friends~

'Been away for several days; my husband & I were out of town.

See, my brother & his wife gave us this gift certificate, like 2 years ago, for The Cove -- the BGEA Retreat Center in Asheville, NC. We tried to go last February, and had to cancel. But in August, we got an email about a "marriage retreat" featuring Chip Ingram , so we jumped on it! It was a weekend focusing on our age group (people under 45), so we would have lots in common with everyone there.

We'd never heard of The Cove prior to my brother's gift, & didn't know Chip Ingram either. But man-o-man do we know now!! 330 people were in attendance from 19 different states, & Canada.

It was a wonderful weekend, with a deeply refreshing spiritual message from the speaker. Also though, the fellowship with other Believers - some struggling in their marriages, some not - was priceless.

Mostly, what I'll 'take away' from the experience is how much I appreciate my husband, the blessing of knowing others are out there striving to live a Godly life - that we're not alone in the fight against our culture, & that God's design for marriage/family is part of His 'great shalom' :

“I will bring health and healing to it: I will heal My people and will let them enjoy abundant Shalom and safety...I will cleanse them from all the sins they have committed against me…Then this city will bring Me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations of the earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and Shalom I provide it,” -- Jeremiah 33: 6-9

And so, we're thankful to my brother & his wife for affording us the opportunity. But even more, thanks belongs to God for His ministry among His people, & His hand at work in our lives - leading us toward His Great Shalom.

Wow.

~~~

Musical Interlude...

Hi friends~
I'm writing little snippets in other places, thus today's post.

I was inspired by Z's blog a few days ago. So Z, this is for you, sweet one!

Jesus loves us, this we know.

~~~

Of Mentors, Voices & What comes 'After this...'

Feeling the need to step out of the grind of politics for a few moments, friends. It does get rather grueling, no? Let's switch gears...

I am taking a delightful writing course taught by author Susan Woodring. In one of her recent blog posts she posed questions, "Who is your writing mentor? Have you ever met him/her?" After knocking this around, I offered a comment: "Distilling my answer to 2 'mentors,' they'd be Peggy Noonan and Beth Moore . Peggy for her deceptively 'easy' style that holds such beautiful wisdom, & Beth for the way my spirit responds to her 'teaching.' Wow."

While I've met neither of these women, I have had a snail-mail exchange with Beth Moore, because it was essential that she know how the Holy Spirit spoke to me through her. See, this piece of writing came to me partly as a result of her ministry. I sent her the following letter, along w/ a copy of that piece:

Dear Beth,

It was me.

We’re doing your Revelation series. Last week we viewed session 4 during which you quote Rev. 4:1. You stopped, looked into the camera and said, “‘After this…’ Somebody needs to hear this today: there is an ‘after this.’ You do not have to stay where you are.”

That somebody was me. I needed to hear those exact words from my Father, to be assured that ‘this too shall pass,’ there is an ‘after this.’

Beth, this ‘season’ has been a very difficult one for me...[ed. for personal content]

So. Here I am. I know that I know that our Lord is working. And then I wonder, ‘Will I ever move from here? Will I ever be free of it?’ And then I hear your voice saying, “Somebody needs to hear this today: there is an ‘After this.’” Imagine my surprise at such a clear & direct answer to this intensely personal question! Beth, thank you for your sensitivity to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, & for repeating His words: ‘After this…’

I’m sure others needed to be assured that with the Lord there’s always an ‘after this…’. But I am convinced that one was in a Methodist church on 2-23-2010. And it was me. And I heard, & I know that there is an ‘after this…’ Thanks be to God!

Jesus loves us, this we know...

A few weeks later I received a lovely letter from "Nancy," of Living Proof Ministries . Because of the scope of Mrs. Moore's influence, I did not expect to hear from her. Noting the personal, specific nature of Nancy's response, I know that Mrs. Moore had, indeed, heard from me. That was all I was after.

Back to 'writing': Mentoring is not about the celebrity of another person, it's about using their influence to help 'hear the voice.' As Mrs. Woodring has said, "I can't begin a story until I hear its voice."

Indeed.

And for me so far, the 'voice' shows up in odd & surprising places: like when conversing with my holly bushes, or when someone I'll never meet stops on a dime at a prepositional phrase.

I don't know where my story is going, but I know there is a Voice, & I am listening.

~~

"1After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." ~ Rev. 4:1

~~~

Long Winters, Hard Pruning & Spring Fever

I’ve been learning some things lately, one of which came to me as I pruned the hollies in front of our home just the other day. These bushes were remarkably overgrown when we first bought our house, necessitating an immediate sharp trimming. Since then, I have only snipped off the new growth yearly, trying to keep their size down. The time had come though, toward the health & future of the plant itself, for a severe & harsh pruning. The overall aesthetic of our home required it, but also the plants had become infested with some sort of mold or other, the healing of which only a cutting away of affected pulp would accomplish. So, out with the electric saw.

I happily sawed & cut, clearing away mounds of what appeared, at a distance, to be healthy limbs. And, as happens when I’m lost in the garden, thoughts floated in and out of my loosely focused mind. As if offering the plants an explanation for their sudden & severe nakedness, I heard myself thinking, ‘I’m pruning to improve your health. This cutting away will insure a future vitality, & a usefulness that’s in line with my plan for this home.’

Did my holly bushes hear my thoughts? Did they know why they were being reduced almost to stubble? I highly doubt it. Did they even care? Not likely.

And then it struck me: it wasn’t me thinking thoughts toward my bushes, it was the Holy Spirit – using measures He knows I will perfectly understand – speaking to me about my own life, my own struggles with change and search for purpose.

See, the past few years have been a bit of a struggle; sort of an existential wrestling with who I am, why I’m here, & the purpose for my life. Like my hollies, this has been a season of the loss of what appeared, at a distance, to be healthy ‘limbs.’ I’ve felt exposed at times, vulnerable & shorn, but also felt a sense of humility and openness to possibility that I’ve never experienced. There’s an urgency toward creativity that has been surprising & fresh – having never really thought myself creative. Through all of this: my wrestling, my mistakes, losses & gains, I’m gleaning a tender understanding of the process of life, discovery, & the nature of forgiveness.

I’m at a turning point, in a manner of speaking, having been cut back almost to stubble. I’ve felt the severity of that naked vulnerability, and yet the assurance of the Gardener’s wisdom. I don’t know why, or what it was, but there must have been a mold of some sort afoot, which could only be cleared away with the cutting away of pulp. I know that some things can only be grown healthy after a severe & harsh pruning. But unlike my hollies, I have heard the voice of the Gardener, and I know that after this, there is vitality, health & usefulness. I know, too, that it’s all in line with the Gardener’s plan for this ‘home.’

Never before has winter seemed so long or so severe, but I know there is a Spring coming. And I know it’s coming for me.

~~~

Best laid plans of mortals & Kings.

I like order. I like to have a plan & know what to expect. I’m not great at flying by the seat of my pants. It’s one of those weaknesses I have to work on every so often…like today.

See, I was asked to deliver the “Congregational Prayer” during our Praise & Worship service this morning. Today was “Christ the King” Sunday, the close of the Christian calendar: a day set aside for proclaiming the Kingship of Christ. Established in 1925 by Pope Pius XI, it was designed to counter the rise of atheism & secularism that was absorbing early 20th century Europe. (Sounds like our current culture, no?) So our Pastor focused on ‘Christ the King,’ blending in touches of the Thanksgiving holiday, & needed a prayer to mesh, at least loosely, with his outline.

Back to my penchant for order…As is my nature, I had pre-written a prayer, weaving in elements of the chosen scripture (John 18:33-37) & Thanksgiving. In my haste to get out of the house though (failing at promptness - another weakness), I left my scripted prayer at the laptop, waiting to be printed.

My first thought when I realized what I had done? ‘No time to turn back now! I’ll have to wing it.’

Then came the corollary, “Maybe you’ll just have to trust my Holy Spirit for the words, Sus. Hmmm?”

So, we struck a deal, God & me. I would improvise, uncomfortable as that is, & He would supply the Prayer. (Didn’t have a choice really, late as I was.) But also, I’m learning some very important things about my God: my weakness is immaterial to Him, in fact it's when I am weak that He is strong. And, when He says He’ll be there, I can count on it.

So the time for our prayer came, & so did the words. It opened quietly with ½ of a verse of “Come Ye Thankful People Come,” a capella, then flowed into words coming from nowhere. I don’t remember exactly what they were (not that it was enraptured spiritual amnesia or anything). But the words I do remember were exactly what my heart needed (& perhaps the hearts of others?) on this day; at this time when so much is uncertain, & the powers-that-be seem out of hand.

The words were something like this: Christ Jesus is the King of kings, & He is my King. No person, no group & no Government can supercede His authority in my life…Christ Jesus is my only King &, Glory Hallelujah, that’s all that really matters.

Amen?

Amen.

So, I just have to ask. Who is your King?



Do you know Him?

~~~

Help Is On the Way: Michael W. Smith

Okay, so today has been a great day.

This weekend has been great. My husband surprised me with - get this - children staying with his dear parents, and tickets to a Michael W. Smith concert last night: 7th row!

It. Was. Fabulous!

The concert included Phil Stacey (American Idol), Matt Maher & Meredith Andrews.

I wish that I could convey the bigness of the sound, the energy of the music, the intimacy of the lyrics & the palpable movement of the Holy Spirit. Be assured, dear friends, that it was BIG!

These two videos (2 of my favorites from last night) can't convey all that, but they can sure give a peek.
Enjoy!





I am so thankful to have been a part of that experience, & I thank my dear, generous, thoughtful husband for giving it to us.

I believe people's hearts were moved in that room last night.
I believe healings of all kinds took place, & people left different than they came.
I believe people tasted the sweet pelting of Healing Rain & know, truly, that Help is On The Way.

I believe this happened;
I know it's true, because I'm one of them.
Glory Hallelujah!

~~~

Me, Invisible?

A word of encouragement for any 'Cathedral builders' out there - especially mothers. Remember this when you feel somewhat 'invisible' or insignificant:




Whatever Cathedral you happen to be building in this season of your life, "let's pray that our work will stand as a monument" to our great God.

Be encouraged, friends, because nothing is invisible.

Amen & amen.

~~~

"10 X 10"

So…considering my last post, I think it may be time to gain some perspective.

Have you ever done a spontaneous inventory of what’s most important to your life? Me either, until my friend Linda asked a favor the other day. (“Favor”: heh, heh.) She invited me to the rare privilege of contributing to a ‘pilot’ program of ministry to young girls/teens. Her project was conceived a year ago , has been in embryonic stages, & is now emerging more fully formed: “Read My Lip-gloss.” Linda has a faithful team of skilled people who are fully committed to nurturing girls & giving them practical tools to become Godly, courageous women, in spite of the culture that surrounds them. What a treasure to be even a small part of this operation!

The ‘favor’ which was asked of me? It’s a “10 x 10” rubric; a scenario in which I place myself, then share with Linda my written response:

You’re a woman on a bus, riding comfortably, when a young teen gets on, taking the empty seat beside you. She introduces herself & tells you where her stop is. You know that 10 minutes hence, she’ll get off & you won’t see her again. For whatever reason, you feel an urgency to impart the 10 most important things that you believe she’ll need to know, to carry her through the rest of her life. You don’t have time to plan & you don’t have time to poll your friends. When this girl gets off the bus, she’ll be gone forever. You will either have used the opportunity of 10 minutes, or you’ll have lost it.

As a woman, what will you tell her? What 10 essentials can you absolutely NOT let her get off that bus without hearing? What really matters, to you, in life?

After getting off the phone with Linda, I went to my living room w/ a scratch pad & my favorite pen (Paper-mate, Write Bros., blue). No kids around (amazing!). Otis was not barking (perfection). I gave myself 10 minutes. What follows is my spontaneous “10 x 10”:

1) Choosing a relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important decision you will ever make in your life, bar none. No exceptions.

2) God has a perfect plan for your life. This doesn’t mean you will be perfect, but you can always rely on His perfection.

3) You are who God believes you are, not what media, peers, or Hollywood tries to tell you. God made you exactly as He wants you – for His purpose & His glory.

4) Rejoice then! Because you are His Masterpiece!

5) Sexual virtue is an immeasurable blessing to a future marriage. It provides a foundation of trust, respect & dignity like no other intangible can.

6) Release self-imposed guilt; allow shame to dissolve in His mercy. God can redeem anything, & is fully able to make all things new.

7) You can be a tough, strong woman without being harsh and shrill.

8) American Feminism lied. Though some of it brought progress for women, the “sexual revolution” has resulted in devaluation & degradation of femininity such that womanhood is hardly viewed as uniquely special, & has lost esteem in our society.

9) Womanhood is uniquely special & worthy of high esteem. Our marriages, children & entire culture suffer when we deny this fact.

10) God has created you with perfect giftedness. Be flexible & malleable to the embrace of the Holy Spirit, & God will surprise you with the ways your gifts are used, for His glory, across the measure of your life.

Good-bye, dear girl. God speed.

The times upon us are chaotic & frightening. Changes are advancing that threaten us with calamity. We feel impotent. We feel angry, strapped, crippled, helpless. We can’t seem to gain a grasp on the truth…

It’s time to take inventory, friends, because Truth is constant. Above, you have the Truth of my life. I believe it, & I stand firm in it. No “change” will shake me from it, so help me Lord Jesus. In the end, if that's all I have left, it’ll be enough. I will stand, waiting to be surprised by God’s use of my gifts, until the full measure of my life meets its end.

Thank you, dear Linda, for my 10 minutes. It was indeed a privilege.

~~~

Times like these invite do-overs...

I don't normally have do-overs @ Get the Big Idea. However, this seemed to be the day for it.

Below is a piece that I shared with you in early June. Every so often, I dust it off & tinker with the words some. Today, I just needed to read it, & share it. Again.

Be still & know, friends. Be still & know.


...from June 6, 2009...

Psalter Song

Gracious Lord, you are my God.

In the midst of tumult,

You impart stillness.

In the face of staggering, pernicious testimony of evil

You are Righteousness.

When the scythe of grief rakes your children’s flesh,

You are the emollient assuaging the slashed and torn places.

Holy, merciful God, I stand in need of deliverance.

My soul craves Your liberty.

My arid spirit longs for deep and sure relief;

Your refreshment slakes my thirst.

I trudge through self-poured mire, and

Your Grace lifts.

Your mercy cleanses.

You restore your humble creation.

You are my reward, the depth and source of my joy.

You are Provider.

Redemption.

Holy, mighty God, you are consummate Authority.

You, merciful Lord, are perfect Peace.

You, oh God,

are my all and only

Hope.

~~~

A duck, a challenge, abortion.

Dear friends, please see the post below this one , because it ended like this:

‘Three diatribes later, Mr. Duck…’ had kinda ticked me off. He’d used all the Leftist epithets that dismiss conservatives: we’re ‘self-righteous’, judgmental ‘hypocrites’. That we’re simple-minded followers; un-intellectual, unsophisticated, has-beens. I didn’t respond to most of what he said, but one of his diatribes, I couldn’t leave unchallenged:

“Susannah, do you believe that partial birth procedures are the result of serious late term conditions…which make it impossible for the child to live outside the womb? Or conditions which threaten the mother, are they your decision? Or do you figure a woman who is 8 months along just goes into the doctor's, slaps her forehead and says, ‘Damn, I knew I forgot to do something’.

Let me know, I enjoy reading the workings of the conservative ‘mind’. Like Sarah Palin, you probably don't have a fastball. Just some homilies you heard from the preacher, but give it a go.”
No ‘fast ball’, eh?

My perspective doesn’t come from sermons, or even some intellectual pursuit. It comes from having been in some of the scariest, seemingly darkest places & simply holding on for dear life. I’ve never written of my experience, & certainly never thought of it as a ‘fast ball’, but Mr. Duck, since you asked for it…

[Readers, please know this: we all have stories. Sharing mine doesn’t 'completely inform' the issue of late term abortion – as Mr. Duck later accused me. Nor do I assume to make choices for other people. I share my experience simply to counter-balance 'health of the mother' that the Pro-Abortion Left uses, ad nauseum, to silence ‘questioners’.

I share the following [response to Mr. Duck] with the utmost, weighty respect for anyone who has had a similar experience. My story is not unique. Women arrive here - & in darker places - every day, all over the world…]

"Duck. I assume you're male…I think maybe I've got more field experience upon which to answer this ridiculous question. I had 3 'pregnancies from h#ll', to quote a worn phrase. Each one brought with it 'hyperemesis gravidarum', which means one literally cannot stop puking. (Think hospitalization, IV’s dripping Phenergan-laced fluids into my veins, LOSING 14 pounds in the first trimester.) With the 3rd pregnancy, I was allowed to take Zofran for 20 weeks in order to prevent hospitalization.

If I had been born 75 or even 50 years ago, I could have DIED EACH TIME. Perhaps before I knew I was really pregnant. (How's that for 'health of the mother'?)

Moving right along…

Before delivery, I developed HELLP Syndrome - all 3 times. HELLP is a severe form of Pre-eclampsia, & was only 'discovered' in 1982. It is FATAL to both mother & child, if not recognized in time & treated properly. Even with treatment, some mothers suffer permanent kidney damage, & can still die of kidney failure post-partum. (hmmmm… ‘conditions which threaten the mother’…)

My results?

1) Delivery - emergency C-section, 3 weeks early due to potentially FATAL 'late-term condition'. It's a miracle I'm now a living human being w/ a 12 year old son.

2) Delivery - on time. Thought we'd dodged the bullet, but HELLP showed up & we delivered - stat. Again, we’re both living miracles.

3) Delivery - 5 1/2 weeks early due to that pesky potentially FATAL 'late term condition'.

The MD’s had NEVER seen a patient who'd had these 'conditions' at both the beginning & end of pregnancy; 3 times in a row. Now that you've challenged me on it, I guess you could say if ever there was a case for 'conditions that threaten the mother', it was ME – every time.

Funny, though. Not once did the idea of ending the life growing inside my sick, weak, racked body even cross a single synapse in my brain; as miserable & scary as those times in my life were.

As I look back, I was convinced that God was in control & that all would be well. I also learned that surrendering-of-self was absolutely essential in order to just survive.

See, that's what we don't get in our society - the notion that we must surrender ourselves to something Greater, for something Greater...Instead, we have: "Feel good? Do it! Want it? Get it!"

Life is not about us, dear Duck. It's about living the truth. The Truth saved my life - in every way possible - and I refuse to be intimidated into silence by 'self-satisfieds' such as yourself, no matter what epithet you sling my way.

So, to answer your original question - my beliefs about late term abortion: for the most part I believe that American women, steeped in traditional feminist culture, choose to abort babies who could otherwise be saved. I'm just glad my mother wasn't one of them.”

~~~

Independence Day

Happy Day~ Fourth of July!

The day we celebrate our Nation's Independence...Our family did traditional American style. It's what we want to teach our children; to be American. We celebrated with lots of fun, lots of family & food, & plenty of sunshine. And into the night with fireworks to boot! Today has been a great day!

Still, I'm exquisitely aware of the freedom we enjoy - to play, to laugh & to pursue our own happy times. Yet there's a part of my heart that reserves sorrow for the direction our nation is taking. There's a wariness of the future & (dare I say it?) a fear of my own countrymen who are at the helm of my great nation, knowing not what they're steering, having not the slightest notion of what they're systematically destroying... And yet the destruction has been a long time coming - since before my birth, anyway.

Then, God help us. If I know the truth about my nation, & I came up through the ranks of public school propaganda & this deteriorating culture of ours...If I know, then surely there are others who know, who're willing to speak, who're willing to act. God. Please help my nation.

And now the fireworks are done. There's a lonely crack or two in the distance, breaking into the tunes of frog & cricket choruses outside my window. There are those who are still celebrating. But for me, it's time to lay my head down. I'm thankful that I lay it down in peace, in comfort, in safety, for I live in America.

And so I pray: Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray Thee, Lord, my nation to keep. If She should die before I wake; I pray Thee, Lord, Her soul to take. Preserve Her, Lord, for futures to come. Lead Her back toward freedom's throne. For those who come after me, Oh Lord, please draw them to Wisdom's knee. Let them learn what we've forgot; that our country's banner is not for naught.

God bless my family. God bless my people. God bless my country, my precious America.

~~~

The assurance of things hoped for...

Today I was reminded that all parents, at one time or another, struggle w/ a common theme: Is what I'm doing for my children making an impact? Is what I do for them going to benefit them in the long run? Have I made the right choices for them, for our family? Never are these struggles any more piercing than when our child (or we ourselves) are in some kind of crisis. We question ourselves & second guess every move made (or at least I do).

But even in the day to day, these parent-struggles can plague our lives, sucking the joy out of our ordinary. Because after all, life is lived & true joy is found in the ordinary. Our lives are not meant to be Disney all the time. We human beings are not built for that. We can't take it - would that we could ask Michael Jackson; he'd likely agree. God rest his poor, tortured soul.

No, life is to be savored in the plain-old. That's the biggest thing I've had to learn (& the thing our society values least) from being a stay @ home mom. I've also learned that maybe it's wise to rest knowing that if we've made clear conscience decisions with all the wisdom we can muster, & given the rest to God, all will be well, eventually.

Several years ago I chose to give up my career to be that SAHM. Mind you, I'm a Master's Level educated, fully licensed professional (my ego still requires I tell you that), so this was not an easy decision: am I doing the right thing for my children? for myself? What about my education? What about our family's best interests? I've second-guessed it several times, especially when the challenges of rearing 3 very active, bright, busy children, & 'building' our home were a bit too much to carry. When we were still such a young family, shortly after the big decision, I was privileged to catch a glimpse of the Big Picture. I'll share it with you:

7-30-03 "Big boy is @ my parents. Husband, little boy & baby are all asleep upstairs. The house is quiet. It's early, but not that early. That's just it. It's not all that early, & yet I can come down in my PJ's, leave my babies sleeping comfortably in their beds. No rush to get out the door; no urgency to meet a schedule which is unnatural to our family's rhythm. Just a quiet, restful family rhythm. I love days like this.

It has been raining, which is why they're sleeping a little later than usual. ...And so it begins - Husband asks for slacks to be ironed. He has a schedule - and I help him, of course. But no such schedule imposed on my little sleepy heads. They'll have a lifetime of schedules that the world will impose, and they can choose which ones they'll abide. But not now, not as babies, not when the world is so new, not when it's my job to let them just be who they are, & grow into who they're supposed to be.

There will be times when I'll spend money more freely, move about more freely doing my own thing. But that's not these days. These days are for them; and me. These days are to be sure they're solid, secure, healthy & balanced. These days are for babies snuggled in their beds, still sleeping at 7:30 on a rainy weekday morning. I love days like this."

...because, there is a Big Picture, friends. And what JOY is found there - in the ordinary-ness of it, the plain-oldness of it! We forget so easily that JOY, because we so seldom are out from ourselves long enough to catch those glimpses.

Many times since that piece was written, I questioned - again - my decisions. I believe that's normal. And I also believe that's where faith comes in.

Faith: the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Faith: a gift from God, not of ourselves. Not sure we have enough? Pray. Ask for more. And let's be assured that the things (& people) who hold our hopes are in the hands of the One who holds us all.

~~~

Sunday faith: For such a time as this.

Hi friends~

Recent events have me falling back on poetry today. My precious friend said just yesterday, "I could get so down thinking of the peril of these times & our poor children's future. But if the going gets tough, we'll go it together."

I can't tell you what it means to have her friendship in times like these. It is so very comforting to know others who share my concerns, are there to help shoulder the burden of it, & are willing to stand & fight when it's time for such.

My friend's words & a phone call w/ my sweet Lisa brought this piece to my mind. It is original; coming to me in differing drafts over the years. But please know I am not a poet. It just seems appropriate for such a time as this.

Psalter Song

Gracious Lord, you are my God.
In the midst of tumult,
You impart stillness.
In the face of staggering, pernicious testimony of evil
You are Righteousness.

When the scythe of grief rakes your children’s flesh,
You are the emollient assuaging the slashed and torn places.

Holy, merciful God, I stand in need of deliverance.
My soul craves Your liberty.

My arid spirit longs for deep and sure relief;
Your refreshment slakes my thirst.
I trudge through self-poured mire, and
Your Grace lifts.
Your mercy cleanses.
You restore your humble creation.

You are my reward, the depth and source of my joy.

You are Provider.
Redemption.
Holy, mighty God, you are consummate Authority.
You, merciful Lord, are perfect Peace.
You, oh God,
are my all and only
Hope.

~~~

Obama-Taxes, Chavez-Sykes, & Garbage Trucks.

I haven’t written this week, but instead have used my scant free time to read: blogs, comments, & a fascinating book on Men’s Health.

What I’ve seen is that a lot of friends out there are getting discouraged. They’re seeing things like our President hugging & doing gangsta handshakes w/ notorious fascist dictators. They’re hearing the same man say that fixing what’s been broken by overspending requires spending even more; or that what we thought was our Christian nation – really isn’t. We’ve heard him make self-aggrandizing jokes @ the expense of Special Olympians & watched him chortle merrily as a famous-yet-uncouth comedienne publicly wishes the slow & painful death of a political adversary…

All this has a way of pi$$ing a person off (at best), or (even worse) darkening one’s spirit to the point of giving up. It seems to keep getting worse, doesn’t it, friends?

Let me introduce you to my new friend, Jan. I found her through DD2’s comments, & she has a interesting things to say. But her May 2nd post struck me at a fresh angle this morning. It gave me encouragement & buoyed my sense of mission here. She quotes David J. Pollay’s “Beware of Garbage Trucks”:

"How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? …The mark of a successful person is how quickly she can get back her focus on what's important...

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on…The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day…”

Please don’t get me wrong. We’d be a little crazy if the current situation were NOT making us a little crazy. We DO need to take breaks, pull away from it & find encouragement. We need to take care of ourselves, like our friend DD2 is doing.

All the while we need to remember that we are not throw ourselves under the garbage truck. We’re not to let it dump on us, & we’re not to let its cloud of dust & debris fall over our lives. We have the option of smiling, waving & letting it move down the road. After all, it’s NOT OUR TRUCK! And eventually it will run out of gas.

When we choose to let it pass & we watch its brake lights flicker in the distance, we would be wise to turn around, find our friends & remember who we are.

Nice analogy, the truck. It fits nicely here, & we can make real good use of it in the current climate.

But as Jan says, “The above is good advice, but this is better:

‘Come unto Me, all you who are weary & heavy laden,
& I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.’ ~Matthew 11:28-29

Amen, sister.

~~~

National Day of Prayer: Part II

“Obama Sits out National Day of Prayer as Millions Pray for him.”

So said the title of an article I saw while researching this. I’ve already done the piece that tags him for it…but just, if you will, read that line one more time & let the irony sink in…

Let me be clear. Mr. Obama is not the end-all-be-all to the spiritual life of our nation. Far from it. What is the hope for our nation’s spiritual health? It certainly isn’t with our political leaders, though they can lend credence, or not, to what average folk are trying to live.

Allow me to share a bit of what Beth Moore said in a NDofP promotional video. She says,

“We are people that are in trouble, we are people that are vulnerable. We are people that are no longer secure in ourselves, but there is an answer. And prayer is the way we seek that answer. Our security & our hope is in our God, & our God is still with us. His question to us today is are we still with Him?"

Addressing a crowd of thousands on the Capitol grounds, Mrs. Moore focused on four themes for times of crisis.

* "Look at what God has already done," she said. "Look at his Word from Genesis to Revelation and think as wide and broad as you can and petition God to show his power," Moore said, "the way he did for Abraham, Paul, Silas, Timothy…"

* "One day of corporate prayer offered in sincerity, unity and humility can have a titanic effect, not only to the immediacy of need, but for generations to come," Moore said. "Our nation does not need us to lose our faith, even when there are those who vehemently oppose us. They are
greatly affected by our prayers; they just don't know that. We've got to resist cynicism and defeatism."

* "God esteems a faithful remnant. Let the remnant pray like crazy, and they will be heard," she said. "No one and nothing can keep us from revival, but we ourselves."

* "God holds his people responsible for righteousness, not results. The moment you & I obey God, we are a success!" she said.

Be encouraged, friends. As Mrs. Moore said, God "has not given up on this nation. We're not in a godforsaken world, after all. As the remnant cries out, he hears us!"

And I believe her. More importantly, I believe HIM! God has not forsaken us, dear friends. Believe with me, & let us claim ourselves that faithful remnant.

Claim it; then live it!

God esteems faithfulness, obedience.

We are to be obedient.

We are to be faithful.

We are to PRAY LIKE CRAZY!!

Join me?

~~~